Growing up with a narcissistic parent can have profound effects on an individual’s mental health and well-being. Narcissistic parents prioritize their own needs and desires above their children’s, leading to emotional neglect and abuse. This can result in low self-esteem, codependency, relationship issues, trust issues, and fear of abandonment. Let’s explore the effects of narcissistic parenting on adult children through an example.
Mary grew up with a mother who was always focused on her own appearance and achievements. Mary’s mother would often comment on her weight and compare her to other children. She would also boast about her own accomplishments and belittle Mary’s achievements. As a result, Mary grew up feeling inadequate and developed low self-esteem.
Mary’s experience is just one example of how narcissistic parenting can affect adult children. As a matter of fact, most individuals realize the damage narcissistic parenting has caused to them only after when they grow up. Many individuals don’t even understand what abnormality they have grown inside them. As they grow up and face the world on their own they start getting feedbacks. This feedback can come in many forms. Fortunate are those who get compassionate friends and lovers in this journey. On the other hand, some grow up to be introverts and don’t have the support from friends as well.
Effects of narcissistic parenting on adult children can be really nasty. It can lead to create:
Low self-esteem
Narcissistic parents are often critical and unsupportive of their children, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Children raised by narcissistic parents may struggle with their sense of self-worth well into adulthood, often feeling like they’re not good enough or deserving of love and respect. They always see themselves at fault, criticize themselves and ultimately dislike their own selves.
Codependency
Children of narcissistic parents often learn that their worth is tied to pleasing their parent and meeting their expectations. They may feel like they need to earn love and approval, leading to a pattern of seeking validation from others in adulthood. This can result in codependent relationships where an individual prioritizes the needs of others over their own, often to their detriment. Thus, they are never happy with their decisions. Rather, they are not in a state to take any concrete decision. For every opinion of them they need a confirmation from someone else. This can happen in the smallest things like choosing a dress for a party or going for a haircut they like. They always need acceptance. In fact, they need repeated acceptance and confirmations. This can lead to irritation in their relationships with people they every time go for validation to.
Relationship issues
Narcissistic parents often use their children as an extension of themselves, expecting them to fulfill their own unmet needs and desires. As a result, children of narcissistic parents may struggle to form healthy relationships because they never learned how to establish healthy boundaries or communicate effectively. They may also struggle with trust issues and fear of abandonment because they never received unconditional love and support from their parent. One of the major issues in relationships that they face is behavior. Being overwhelmed with the pitiful behavior they receive from their parents, they hardly learn actual behavior. On top of that, such adults seek dependency, validation, healing and love from their partners in a level that can disturb their partner’s mental state as well. Since these adults of narcissistic parenting do not know how to behave in a relationship, they unknowingly only ruin their relationships with their partners.
Mental health issues
Children of narcissistic parents are at a higher risk for developing mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The emotional neglect and abuse that they experience can have lasting effects on their psychological well-being.
In adulthood, Mary struggled with self-doubt and self-criticism. She found it challenging to accept compliments or praise and often second-guessed herself in social situations. She also had a hard time setting boundaries and saying no to people, leading to codependency and burnout at work. Mary’s relationship with her romantic partner was also affected by her narcissistic upbringing. She struggled to open up to her partner and communicate her feelings, which led to misunderstandings and conflict. She had a fear of abandonment and often worried that her partner would leave her if she didn’t meet his expectations.
Different types of narcissistic parents
It’s important to note that there are different types of narcissistic parents, such as the engulfing parent, who is over-involved and intrusive, or the ignoring parent, who is emotionally detached and neglectful. Each type of narcissistic parent can have unique effects on adult children.
Impact on career
Narcissistic parenting can also impact an individual’s career choices and success. Children of narcissistic parents may feel pressure to choose a career that their parent approves of or that aligns with their parent’s expectations. They may also struggle with self-promotion and advocating for themselves in the workplace, which can hinder their professional growth.
Coping mechanisms
Adult children of narcissistic parents may develop coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional trauma inflicted by their parent. These coping mechanisms can include substance abuse, eating disorders, or self-harm. It’s important to recognize these behaviors as a cry for help and seek professional support.
Recovery process
Recovery from narcissistic parenting can be a long and challenging process. It’s important to work with a therapist who specializes in treating individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Healing can involve establishing healthy boundaries, learning to trust others, and developing a sense of self-worth.
The effects of narcissistic parenting on adult children can be devastating and long-lasting. It’s crucial for individuals who have experienced narcissistic parenting to seek support and therapy to work through these issues and heal from the emotional trauma inflicted by their parent. By breaking the cycle of narcissistic abuse, individuals can move towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.