Narcissistic Parenting

Before understanding Narcissistic Parenting, we have to first understand:

Narcissism is recognized as a form of mental disorder. Yes, narcissism is characterized by an inflated self-image and an addictive indulgence in fantasies, coupled with an extraordinary demeanor of coolness and composure.

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a consistent pattern of self-centered and arrogant thinking and behavior, accompanied by a lack of empathy and disregard for others, as well as an insatiable need for admiration. Individuals with NPD are often described as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. These traits manifest in various aspects of their lives, encompassing their work, friendships, family dynamics, and romantic relationships.

People with narcissistic personality disorder exhibit remarkable resistance to changing their behavior, even when it proves detrimental to themselves or those around them. Instead, they tend to deflect responsibility and shift blame onto others. Moreover, they display extreme sensitivity and react negatively to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, interpreting them as personal attacks.

So, now it makes it easier for us to understand that Narcissistic Parenting. It is the parenting style/culture/way of a person who has been exhibiting narcissistic symptoms in raising her/his children.

A parenting style that involves a “consistent pattern of self-centered and arrogant thinking and behavior, accompanied by a lack of empathy and disregard for” the children is Narcissistic Parenting.

A parent who is:

• “Cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding” towards the children she/he is raising is a Narcissist Parent.
• “Exhibits a remarkable resistance to changing their behavior, even when it proves detrimental to themselves or” her/his children is a Narcissistic Parent.
• “Tends to deflect responsibility and shift blame onto” her/his children is a Narcissistic Parent.
• “Displays an extreme sensitivity and reacts negatively to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, interpreting them as personal attacks” her/his children is a Narcissistic Parent.

Narcissistic parenting is a term used to describe a form of parenting that is characterized by a parent’s excessive self-absorption and preoccupation with their own needs and desires, to the detriment of their children’s emotional and psychological well-being. Narcissistic parents may have a range of personality disorders, including:

• Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
• Borderline personality disorder (BPD), or
• Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD).

Narcissistic Parenting is also characterized by a parent’s gross negligence towards the child’s upbringing. In fact, this is an aspect where the “parent” themselves are dealing with mental disturbances and become parents due to the laws of the nature. That’s when they are unable to understand their importance in the life of the ones they have created. Also, they lack the understanding of their responsibilities towards the poor child/children. Thus, this leads only to the suffering of the child and hinders the normal course of physical and mental growth for years.

Types of Narcissistic Parent

Narcissistic parenting is a multifaceted phenomenon that can have profound effects on the emotional and psychological well-being of children. It encompasses a range of behaviors and characteristics exhibited by parents who prioritize their own needs, desires, and self-enhancement above the well-being of their children.

Narcissistic parenting can be classified into two distinct types:

1. Egoistic narcissistic parenting and

2. Negligent narcissistic parenting

While both types involve aspects of self-centeredness and a lack of empathy, they differ in:

• The nature of the parental behaviors and,
• The impact on the child

Understanding these two categories can shed light on the complexities of narcissistic parenting and the potential consequences for children who grow up in such environments. In this discussion, we will delve into the definitions and common behaviors associated with egoistic and negligent narcissistic parenting, exploring the detrimental effects they can have on children’s development and emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these parenting styles.

Egoistic Narcissistic Parenting

This type of narcissistic parenting is characterized by a parent’s excessive self-absorption and preoccupation with their own needs and desires. This often come at the expense of their children’s emotional and psychological well-being. Egoistic narcissistic parents prioritize their own interests, seek constant admiration and attention, and may manipulate or exploit their children for personal gain. Sadly, they may lack empathy, fail to acknowledge their children’s emotions, and disregard their boundaries, resulting in an imbalanced and unhealthy parent-child dynamic.

Negligent Narcissistic Parenting

Negligent narcissistic parenting refers to a parent’s gross negligence towards their child’s upbringing. In this type, the parent exhibits a lack of responsibility, emotional detachment, and apathy towards the child’s well-being. As a matter of fact, negligent narcissistic parents may be dealing with mental disturbances themselves, becoming parents unintentionally or without fulfilling their parental responsibilities adequately. They may neglect the child’s basic needs, fail to provide emotional support, and lack consistent involvement in their child’s life. Ultimately, this leads to feelings of abandonment, low self-worth, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships.

It is important to note that these definitions provide a general understanding of the two types of narcissistic parenting, but the behaviors and characteristics can manifest differently in individual cases.

Common behaviors of narcissistic parents

Narcissistic parents may exhibit a range of behaviors that can have negative effects on their children’s development and mental health.

As a matter of fact, we have identified Narcissistic Parenting to be of two groups primarily.

1. Egoistic Narcissistic Parenting

2. Negligent Narcissistic Parenting

What are the common behaviors of Egoistic Narcissistic Parenting?

Egoistic Narcissistic Parenting is characterized by a set of common behaviors that can negatively impact the emotional and psychological well-being of the children involved. Some of the common behaviors associated with egoistic narcissistic parenting include:

Self-centeredness

The parent consistently prioritizes their own needs, desires, and ambitions above those of their children. They may expect constant attention and admiration from their children, disregarding their own emotional needs.

Lack of empathy

The parent struggles to understand and validate their children’s feelings and experiences. They may dismiss or belittle their children’s emotions, viewing them as insignificant compared to their own.

Manipulation and control

The parent employs manipulative tactics to maintain power and control over their children. They may use guilt, emotional blackmail, or gaslighting to get their way and ensure compliance from their children.

Exploitation

The parent may exploit their children for their own personal gain, treating them as extensions of themselves rather than individuals with their own rights and autonomy. They may use their children to fulfill their own needs for attention, success, or validation.

Lack of boundaries

The parent disregards the boundaries of their children, invading their privacy, and failing to respect their autonomy. They may be intrusive, overbearing, or excessively critical, exerting control over various aspects of their children’s lives.

Emotional neglect

The parent may neglect the emotional needs of their children, failing to provide them with love, support, and nurturing. Thus, the children may develop to be emotionally unavailable, distant, or dismissive, leaving their children feeling unimportant and invalidated.

Unrealistic expectations

The parent sets unattainable standards for their children and places excessive pressure on them to meet these expectations. Also, they may use their children’s achievements as a means to boost their own ego, rather than supporting their children’s growth and development.

These behaviors collectively contribute to an unhealthy and imbalanced parent-child dynamic. As a result, the children often struggle with:

• Low self-esteem
• Emotional instability, and
• Lack of secure attachment

What are the common behaviors of Negligent Narcissistic Parenting?

Negligent Narcissistic Parenting, characterized by a parent’s gross negligence towards the upbringing of their child, often involves the following common behaviors:

Emotional detachment

The parent shows a lack of emotional connection or interest in their child’s well-being. Thus, they may exhibit emotional neglect, failing to provide necessary love, support, and attention to their child.

Inconsistent or absent parenting

The parent may be inconsistent in their involvement and presence in the child’s life. As a result, they may frequently abandon or neglect their parental responsibilities, leaving the child to fend for themselves or rely on others for care.

Neglect of basic needs

The parent fails to meet the child’s basic physical and emotional needs. This may include important things such as providing adequate food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, or affection. Hence, the child may experience neglect and be deprived of a safe and nurturing environment.

Lack of guidance and supervision

The parent lacks the necessary involvement in the child’s life to offer guidance, supervision, and structure. Also, they may disregard their child’s education, social development, and overall well-being, leaving the child to navigate life without appropriate support.

Self-centeredness

The parent’s primary focus is on their own needs, desires, and interests, often disregarding the needs of their child. Furthermore, they may prioritize their personal pursuits, such as careers, relationships, or hobbies, over their responsibilities as a parent.

Indifference or apathy

The parent exhibits a general lack of concern or interest in the child’s growth, achievements, and challenges. In mostcases they may be indifferent to the child’s emotional state, academic progress, or social relationships. In fact, they show little to no engagement or investment in their child’s life.

Lack of emotional stability

The parent may struggle with mental disturbances or emotional instability that interferes with their ability to provide consistent care and support for their child. Their own unresolved issues may prevent them from effectively fulfilling their role as a parent.

These behaviors can have significant negative effects on the child’s development. Additionally, this may lead to feelings of neglect, abandonment, low self-worth, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life.

How Common is Narcissistic Parenting?

So we have found out what is Narcissistic parenting. Now, let us discuss how common is it. Well, narcissism is very common. It is a complex personality trait that exists on a spectrum, ranging from healthy self-confidence to pathological narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). While it is true that everyone possesses some degree of self-interest or self-enhancement, not everyone meets the criteria for NPD.

Melody Wildman, LCSW, discusses intriguing insights about the “narcissists” in our lives in her article titled “I’m a Professor of Human Behavior: News About Narcissism.” In the piece published by Business Insider, she says ““Psychologically speaking, narcissism is a personality trait that every person possesses to some degree. Like any characteristic, it exists on a spectrum. We all fall somewhere along the narcissism continuum.”

Spectrum of narcissism

Narcissism encompasses a broad spectrum that nearly encompasses every individual. In fact, the spectrum of narcissism ranges from healthy self-assurance and positive self-regard to extreme cases of narcissistic personality disorder. Research suggests that most people display certain narcissistic tendencies to varying degrees. It’s important to recognize that individuals can exhibit a wide range of narcissistic traits. Moreover, understanding this spectrum can help shed light on the diverse ways narcissism can manifest in different individuals.

When a personality trait is taken to an extreme, it has the potential to become pathological. Similarly, this applies to narcissism as well. If someone exhibits an excessive and persistent pattern of narcissistic traits, they may be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a recognized mental illness. NPD involves a distorted self-image, an overwhelming need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. Hence, it is important to understand the distinction between healthy levels of narcissism and the pathological manifestation seen in individuals with NPD.

While it is true that narcissism exists on a spectrum and nearly every individual possesses some degree of narcissistic traits, it does not automatically imply that every person who becomes a parent exhibits narcissistic parenting behaviors. However, it is possible for certain narcissistic tendencies to manifest in individuals as they navigate their role as parents.

The following points discuss the concept that every person becoming a parent may have some traits of narcissistic parenting:

Narcissistic traits in parenting are a reflection of human nature

As Melody Wildman suggests, narcissism is a personality trait that exists in varying degrees within individuals. Since becoming a parent does not exempt someone from possessing these traits, it is possible for some aspects of narcissism to be present in their parenting style.

Narcissistic Parenting involves a focus on one’s own needs and desires

Parenting requires individuals to balance their own needs and desires with those of their children. It is natural for parents to have personal aspirations, goals, and self-interests that can influence their parenting decisions. Subsequently, these individual desires can sometimes align with narcissistic tendencies.

Challenges in prioritizing children’s needs over one’s own

It can be challenging for parents to consistently prioritize their children’s needs over their own, especially if they have certain narcissistic traits. This struggle may manifest in instances where personal desires take precedence over the child’s well-being.

The potential for self-enhancement through children’s achievements

Parents may derive a sense of validation and self-enhancement from their children’s accomplishments. While it is normal to take pride in one’s child’s achievements, individuals with narcissistic traits may excessively focus on these achievements as a means of bolstering their own self-esteem.

Impact of narcissistic societal values

In a society that often promotes self-centeredness and individual success, some individuals may unintentionally adopt narcissistic behaviors as they navigate parenthood. Meanwhile, these behaviors can manifest as an overemphasis on personal achievements or an excessive need for validation through their children’s accomplishments.

Narcissistic tendencies can be learned or passed down

Children learn from their parents and may adopt certain behaviors or traits they observe. Furthermore, if a parent exhibits narcissistic tendencies, their child may internalize and replicate those patterns in their own parenting style in the future.

It is important to note that not all parents exhibit narcissistic parenting behaviors, and the presence of some narcissistic traits does not automatically make someone a narcissistic parent. In fact, many parents prioritize their children’s well-being and exhibit healthy parenting behaviors that promote their children’s emotional and psychological development. Understanding the spectrum of narcissism can help shed light on how certain traits may influence parenting, but it is crucial to differentiate between healthy levels of narcissism and pathological narcissistic behaviors.